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April 13th, 2009

07:53 pm - 006 Hey everyone, so I hear that the big thing to do nowadays is change your font type all over the place. Studies show that making your font as difficult to read as possible means you should be taken real seriously. Now I love popular trends, so I thought I'd give it a try. Taking me seriously yet? No? I'll pretend I'm writing poetry with random line breaks! NOW I AM SERIOUSLY YELLING! Okay no more yelling. Check it out now the font is completely unreadable! Talk about your fine print, huh? If I type small like this it probably means I'm either whispering or have Laryngitis. ¡noʎ bnq oʇ ʇsnظ sı ʇuoɟ sıɥʇ puɐ Wow, that sure was neat. I feel so serious and respectable. Who wouldn't want to listen to someone who writes like a drunk e.e. cummings? Current Mood: mischievous Tags: ceiling joel is watching you plot, mocky mock mock, oh bite me it's fun

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February 1st, 2009

10:23 am - 005 Hi everyone, Joel Robinson here. What with people getting all kindsa fun parties underway in celebration of 2009, I thought I'd join in too, although not so much as with a fun party as with an old habits die hard kinda thing. I have years of experience in making fun of terrible movies. Helps when you're kinda forced to watch 'em as part of a series of scientific experiments. Thought it might be nice to riff a bad movie, for old time's sake. Make sure I still got the edge and all that. Of course, I usually have the help of my 'bots, but sadly they're still stuck up in space. So I was wonderin': are there any kind souls in this city that'd like to fill in for 'em and make fun of a bad movie with me? I promise that the movie won't have any long-term effects on your psyche. ...Well actually I can't promise that. I gotta few titles that I scrounged up here and there, but I'm always open to any suggestions. Current Mood: nostalgic Tags: can't take the s.o.l. out of the joel, ceiling joel is watching you plot, come and mock with me friend, we got movie siiiign

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December 27th, 2008

03:24 pm - Invention Exchange #3 Hey everyone! With the prospect of starvation and all its unpleasantness looming upon the New York horizon, I thought it'd be high time to put some of the stuff I've got lying around to good use. As everyone knows, when you're in an apocalyptic situation, the only kind of food that will survive is cockroaches and twinkies. Given that cockroaches are in even shorter supply, I thought I'd go with trying to replicate Twinkies. That's why I've come up with this handy invention that duplicates ordinary Twinkies! I call it The Twinkienator As you can see here, I feed a single Twinkie into the machine, and out comes two new Twinkies! Each one is individually wrapped, too! Of course what with the laws of matter conservation, the new Twinkies are actually half the size of the original Twinkie. If I were to continue feeding these half-size Twinkies into the machine, they would continue to reduce in size until they were microscopic, but at least you'd have a couple thousand of 'em. Enough for everyone! What do you think, sirs? Current Mood: hungry Tags: invention exchange, isn't it ironic, twinkies are always funny, wasn't this on an episode of red dwarf

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October 9th, 2008

07:51 pm - Invention Exchange #2 Hey again everyone, looks like it's time for another invention exchange. My invention this week is inspired by the whale that Cloverfield was kind enough to hand off to the United Nations in the interests of world peace. Everyone's been trying to figure out what to do with this free gift, but you know what they say, don't look a gift whale in the mouth. Therefore, my invention is a new chain restaurant: McMoby's! As we all know, fast food chains have a long proud of history of taking normally inedible scraps of meat and marketing them in such a way as to make billions of dollars off of them just by selling them cheaply. And whattaya know, if it can work for meat you squeeze from a tube, then why not whale guts? Part of the menu can include: - The McMoby, a quarter-pounder of whale burger - Big Blue Burger - The Cheap Willy - Shamu Shakes - Harpoon-sized fries And much more! Just put enough salt and ketchup on everything, and you've got quality fast food worthy of Wisconsin itself! All the food is free, but McMoby's it not liable if someone else poisons your food. You're kinda on your own, there. What do you think, sirs? Current Mood: cynical Tags: ceiling joel is watching you plot, invention exchange, mcmoby's

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September 6th, 2008

05:32 pm - Episode 04 Uh oh, looks like Cloverfield's back from vacation. Quick, everyone look busy! Current Mood: nervous Tags: collision course with wackiness, don't look now but..., pretty lame monster

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August 19th, 2008

09:14 pm - Episode 03 I'm not supposed to let anyone know it, but this guy picks his nose. Whoopsies, so much for keepin' that a secret. Also I heard his name was Falawfel, which in my opinion sounds quite delicious. Current Mood: devious Tags: brb making your life hell, mocky mock mock, oh bite me it's fun

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July 30th, 2008

07:43 pm - Episode 03 Well hi everybody, hope you're all doing well in what we've got left of the good ol' Big Apple here. Man, go figures. You set yourself up in a nice new hotel hotspot and what happens? Two days later Cloverfield stomps all over it. What're you gonna do. But it seems like folks are kinda havin' a rough time. So I thought it'd be a great time to remind everyone to have a ~Look on the Lighter Side of Life!~ Here's some suggestions for Looking on the Lighter Side: - Sure your house may've gotten stepped on, but now that your house is a pancake you can really look forward to knowing that your annoying neighbor's house is next in line! - Sure you may have lost all of your worldly possessions, but come on, it's not like you ever actually used that Fusbal Table. And it saves you the trip to Salvation Army. - Sure there may be a food shortage, but now you've got a perfectly good reason to actually stick to your diet now! You'll be the envy of all your old high school buddies next New Year's Eve party for actually keeping your resolution. - Sure there may be lots of killer crabs roaming the streets now, but come on admit it, you wanted an excuse to stay inside and watch that Matlock marathon anyway. Those are just a few suggestions for making life easier all around. Try it at home! You find the fun, and snap, the job's a game. Hope everyone stays fresh, and remember to Look on the Lighter Side! Current Mood: tired Tags: look on the lighter side, pretty lame monster

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July 2nd, 2008

12:45 pm - Episode 02 [PRIVATE // EASY TO HACK] Heya Tom, Crow, Gypsy and Cambot. You probably can't read the stuff being sent down around here, but then again who knows. If that letter from that six-year-old in Venezuela can reach the ol' Satellite of Love, don't see why this can't too. Hope you guys are treatin' Mike alright. Hope you got a child lock on the time machine too, 'cause I hate to say it, but ya needed it. So you guys totally wouldn't believe all the crazy cast that I've seen around here. I mean so far we've got: - Frankenstein's niece. - This girl who invented a BAGGIE FULL O' ICE. Shows great promise for future invention exchanges. - Sir Grumpy of the Order of Red Capes. - This kid who's like a 20 year old trapped in an eight-year-old's body. Like Tom Hanks only in reverse. - The loneliness of the long-distance ninja. Current Traumatic Stress Syndrome if I ever saw it. - Kermit the Frog after alcohol and a night at the piercings parlor. - Harry Potter after 20 years and a couple've Matrix sequels. Actually pretty nice guy; would probably get along with you, Crow. - Some guy called Famaramaflannel-something. Guy who knows him sounds like Dr. Forrester as told by Shakespeare. Also knows a living, breathing Playboy bunny. Tom, I know what you're thinking, and no. - Mr. and Mrs. Strawberry Shortcake, who I bet are totally planning to grow an army of giant killer strawberries that'll kill off everyone who hates the color pink. That'll be fun to keep an eye on. And that's just startin' off. And of course we've still got Cloverfield keepin' things nice and stomped upon. Looks like quite a few are on a collision course with ~wackiness!~ And like a proper letter, here's a postcard of the Statue of Liberty, except I scribbled off the head in magic marker. Wish you were here! It's a real laugh riot. Current Mood: blah Tags: ceiling joel is watching you plot, i miss my bots, starring these proud citizens of the 195

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June 21st, 2008

09:06 pm - Invention Exchange #1 Uhh hey, who's living in the Hotel Pennsylvania these days? I was thinkin' of moving there. Never lived in a hotel before. Well, except that one time. Anyways I'm tryin' to get back into the swing of inventing things. My invention today is based off of Parker Brothers' tendencies to take the Monopoly board game and make a dozen even more boring variations on it. So what I have here today is our own little post-apocalyptic version of Monopoly, which I've called: Manhattanopoly. As you can see here, I've replaced all the places names with names relevant to Manhattan nowadays. Instead of things like Park Place and the Boardwalk, you get Lady Liberty's Head and Pile of Rubble #23. Collect all four supply centers and you'll get a special card declaring you're a food hog. For playing pieces, we now have a giant-bug crab, a broken car, and others. Of course we kept the shoe because everyone wants to be the shoe. And of course since no one's using any money anymore all the cash is useless, so mostly you just stick hotels on wherever you want and try to get the other players to go directly to Central Park 'cause then they lose a turn. It's fun for the whole family from ages six to sixty if your family really has nothing better to do on a Friday night. Whaddaya think, sirs? Current Mood: creative Tags: invention exchange, manhattanopoly, moving right along

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June 7th, 2008

11:34 pm - Episode 01 Oh hi everybody, I'm Joel Robinson. I kinda just now figured out that the computers here were actually able to connect to other people 'cause the lady at the supply center said there were a lot of crazy people on the internet and hey, that sounds interesting enough. So um. How's everyone doing? Pretty lame monster, huh? I mean come on, where's Gamera when you need him. Probably off fighting that one big...thing with a razor blade for a head. It'd be pretty bad if Cloverfield had a razor blade for a head I think. I still like this better than City Slickers 2, though. Current Mood: curious Tags: gamera, hello manhattan!, oh look there's a computer network here, pretty lame monster

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